Dark hours

I was very close to start writing about myself, right about now, but stopped in time.
I did have two other blogs before, and people who wasn't supposed to read anything about me, found it.
You can call them stalkers. 

So I stopped writing about myself at all at that time, and my blog kind of died. I kept writing small poems and other topics that had nothing to do with myself. And on the other blog I wrote only about anime... but I didn't have the drive to keep going with either one.

I also ended other memberships on sites and finally created new ones, to be anonymous.

I've started to talk about myself a bit more but not really to the fullest, I would say. And I probably never will again. 

 No one will notice...

I have this really big urge to just let things out right now though. 

This is the start of something good, hopefully... but also something scary as hell. My pain is growing for every minute, and starting to get to a dangerous zone.
I have never ever talked about it before, my mum didn't even know.  I am really good at keeping things shut inside and not showing anything on the surface. And now I have taken the step to get some real help... That is a really small step for others perhaps..., but a really HUGE step for myself. And I really hope that I wont break ... and just grow from it. 

And later... Later i can proceed with my future and dreams. To learn the Korean and Japanese language completely and became a bridge between our different languages. And also too move to South Korea and leave this boring country, I'm living in. 

I AM going to move forward! 

Every path is the right path. Everything could have been everything else, and it will have just as much meaning.