The most absurd day, ever!

So... I rarely -or ever, write about myself. But today takes the price. So I actually feel like I have to, I have to vent some...

It starts with me not being able to sleep at all. But eventually gets into a kind of awake sleep. I'm not really awake, but not sleeping either. All of a sudden I'm "dreaming" or thinking some weird things. 

- That I was updating my blog, this one. And I was writing a very personal entry about me, discovering I had cancer. I had gone to the doctor, for a usual check-up for something completely unrelated. But I had to do a body CT. And two days later, they called me and ask me to come and talk with them. So... two doctors looking at me pretty sadly, telling me that I have cell-divisions. They told me, they weren't sure if it was bad cells or good cells, so to speak. So I had to do more check-ups. And just two days later, after that, they called me again.
This time, they asked me to bring someone for support. And with that simple word, I understood that it was NOT a good notice. I didn't bring anyone, and went there by myself again. And yes, they told me that it was cancer, and that it was growing. That my options was a surgery, to try to take it out... but that the procedure could be fatal. And also, the regular chemotherapy. Otherwise, I would reckon to have an estimated time of six years top, to live... I didn't tell anyone about it.

So, I was writing this blog entry, about how I had lost my life... That a life of 100 years, are actually nothing. Maybe you get to see one thing you always wanted to see. Maybe you get to do one thing, you always wanted to do. And maybe, you get to meet that special someone who makes your heart beat the extra mile. And finally, maybe you get to die together with that person - in peace.
But I just had six years left... and I have finally figured out what I want to do, and what I have to do - to get there. But all of that was in vain. Because my studies will take about four years... and then what. That would only be a waist of my precious time. But, what do you do, when you only have six years left. You don't really have a future and you should most definitely not fell in love, right!   

So this entry, on my blog, was the first time I talked about it. ( -Still a dream though)

And then I "wake up" and my room is darker then ever. I feel there is a presence in my room and I get really nervous. If you don't believe that stuff, thats fine - I do though. All of the sudden I get a mental picture of my grandmothers house, so I figured that she was in my room. Which made me even more scared. Because I hate that stuff, even though it wont harm me. (I'm afraid of the dark too).

Finally my alarm-clock rings and I get up. I do my regular routine and take it easy, walk my dog and take my time. Then I go down town, because I needed to fix a lot of stuff today! I write myself into the system of a school and I'm starting my studies as soon as possible. - Which is great. I'm on the roll.

I then fix some other stuff and then I call my mum, and we get together to eat dinner. When we are done eating, she leaves and I walk my way, since I'm also going to a meting. And here is the "funny" stuff ~

While I'm walking with extremely loud music in my ears (K-POP), minding my own business... the sidewalk is blocked by a great amount of people. So what I do, is jump down from the sidewalk and... GET HIT BY A FREAKING CABLE CAR. If I had jumped down completely, if I had been walking a little bit more to the left... my arm would be lying on the road right now. 

First it hit my arm really badly, and then I kind of bounced back at it, and it hit the side of my back.
I didn't feel anything at first, I didn't even get what was happening and none reacted either. Not even me... I just kept walking. Until my legs became like spaghetti and I called my mum again. The shock started to mass up inside of me, and I was shaking really bad. But I just kept going towards the meting-point. I told my mother that I was fine though, and hang up. 

When I entered the place for the meting, I sat down to wait... then my whole system broke down. I forgot about the time and place and just sat and gazed into the wall. Meanwhile, my arm just starts to hurt more and more. Eventually I hear my name, and even though I was first in place... All the others are already collected with me still sitting in the couch. While sitting in the actual meting, I couldn't really concentrate on anything and I didn't say much. I held my hands beneath the table, as they were shaking badly and I was in a cold sweat.

Before the shock, I had the time to update it on Facebook. Kind of funny actually, damn phones. But a friend told me to go to the hospital. And now you know, Teri, why I don't want to go at all. Because, then my dream might come true. *Nervous wreck!* 

Well, I'm okay anyways. I have a throbbing pain from hell, in my entire arm. Also a big bruising is starting to build up along it. My back feels weird too... and I don't know how it will be tomorrow, don't want to know either. 
But, I'm alive ... and now I know how it feels to get hit by a cable car. I wont do it again!